Tag Archives: mommy

But Lord, I want her life!

     She had on a cute bangle bracelet, skinny jeans and the highest heels I’ve ever seen. The cute Filipino girl singing in church that day made me miss my old self. I heard thoughts running through my head like, “I miss dressing cute.” “I miss wearing necklaces.” “Did I even put makeup on today?”

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James 3 1/2 years old

Those thoughts didn’t start that day. Oh, no my friends. A year ago when my life seemed to be in an up roar between being pregnant again, and moving 2 states away from family, a friend was buying a house with her husband that they plan on living in forever, have 2 kids and live happily ever after.  It was all planned out. I found myself thinking, “How nice it would be to know how many kids I’d have.” “I wish I had my life all planned out!” “Why do we keep moving?” “I want to live in one house forever.”

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Gideon 2 years old

As if that wasn’t enough a month ago I was outside sitting around our little fire pit in the backyard. I’m sure Faith was sitting on my lap, I had 5 -6 boys/men running around screaming throwing water balloons at each other. (In case you are wondering, my two boys, my two brothers, my husband, and my cousin.) I glanced over across the fence and there was my neighbor sitting peacefully by herself by her fire pit making a list. I had thoughts like, “That looks so peaceful.” “What would that be like?” “I wonder if we are bothering her?”

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Faith 6 months

When I am so focused on other people’s lives I become discontented. Sometimes I wonder if it isn’t the work of Satan whispering in my ear, “Oh, look at her life. Wouldn’t that be nice!” Satan is the great deceiver, wouldn’t it make sense that he would place discontented lies in my ears? Life is short, and I need to enjoy the life that I have been given, not wish for other people’s lives. It robs me of my own happiness and I miss out on what a blessing my life really is. All those women sound happy and their lives sound great. But what you don’t know is that the girl in church, her husband is a pilot and is gone for days at a time. My friend has serious health issues, and my neighbor has told me that they want to have a baby but are having trouble getting pregnant. Who knows? Maybe she was sitting across the fence wishing my life was hers. 😉

You know what the true really is? When I’m not lusting after other women’s lives I am so happy. Life right now is great; I have never been happier.  For me happiness is looking into my children’s big blue eyes that look so much like their father’s, it’s sleeping next to them in bed, it’s reading stories, and looking for bugs.  It’s going on walks, and eating ice cream. It’s hearing my children call me Mommy! I have been blessed beyond measure. I have three beautiful and healthy children. I have a wonderful husband that loves me and loves our children. Really, who wouldn’t want this amazing life I’ve been given?

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June 20th 2014

Biking with Mommy

Today we did lots of fun stuff.  Daddy is baling hay today and need something to drink.  But we couldn’t drive the van because of the construction so Mommy decided to take the bike.  It’s only one or two miles out and we didn’t care. We’d rather go in the bike trailer then the van any day.  Mommy was a little bit sad she couldn’t ride her bike, but it has a missing bolt and she can’t ride it right now.  It’s a good thing anyway since Daddy’s bike has more gears that Mommy needed.  Mommy did really well on the way there. 

When we got there Daddy gave us rides on the tractor while Mommy rested.  Mommy was really sad that she didn’t have her camera with her to take pictures of us. Silly Mommy! When is she going to learn that she has to have her camera with her at all times?  You never know when we will do something cute!

Then we started home.  The wind was against us on the way home, but we didn’t mind since it kept us cool.  Mommy seemed to pedal slower though.  Mommy started breathing heavier about half way home and started saying things like:

“I am so out of shape!”

“Almost to the top. Almost to the top!”

“Feel the burn!”

“Almost home!!”

“I’m going to have to eat a big steak to get energy back after this!”

We weren’t sure why she kept yelling it.  But we liked the “Feel the burn!” one and said it after her!  Mommy admits defeat  on one hill.  She just couldn’t get up it without pushing the bike.  We were nice about it, even if we did go slow.

Gideon fell asleep on the way home. Mommy wasn’t too excited about that because he won’t go to sleep early now.

When we got home Mommy said:

“Well, not bad for being 4 months pregnant.”

We aren’t sure what she meant by that either…..

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Due December 10th

Due December 10th