God is good

James is doing remarkably well with having a brother.  I really struggled when I found out I was pregnant last summer.  James was such a hard baby I wasn’t ready for another one.  Plus I really felt like James still needed my undivided attention and that he would totally freak out when the baby was born.  So, I worried and fretted for 9 months.  I had prayed that I wouldn’t get pregnant for a few more months, but God didn’t answer that prayer.  I questioned God, “Why, would you do this?  Why is it a good idea for us to have another baby so fast?”  I would ask Titus, “Why does God think this is a good idea?”  I did pray a lot that James would be fine when the baby was born, but I didn’t really think he would be.  I had feelings that we were ruining his life, and would never get over it.  I know that sounds drastic but you have to remember this child has been the center of my world for the last year and half.  My life has been totally turned upside down because of him.  And God wanted to give us another one. But you know what?  James loves Gideon.  Has he had his moments of not liking him?  Sure!  Has he had melt downs because I’m holding the baby and can’t help him? Sure!  But over all he has adjusted just fine.  In fact I think James is doing better then he ever has before.  He’s playing by himself more then he did just a month ago.  He’s never played by himself for very long, but now I sit on the couch and watch him play.  Maybe it’s an age thing, or maybe just maybe God answered all those prayers sent up in tears, worrying, and stress.  God is so good to answer our prayers even when we are praying with very little faith, or dare I say it, anger.  I’m not saying my life is easy right now, for pete’s sake I’m typing this with one hand at 3 in the morning!  What I am saying is, God is good.  And even though I prayed I wouldn’t get pregnant so fast maybe it really was for the best.  I just hope I can remember this lesson next time I’m worrying about something.

Philippians 4:6-7  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

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